Thursday, 14 June 2012

Bald and Evil?

So here's the thing. After a fairly in depth Twitter conversation with a friend we have come to a conclusion. The majority of film baddies are BALD and EVIL.

If you are bald you are almost definitely pre-programmed to be evil. (Which means the majority of my family are up shit creek without a paddle, I digress...)

Let's start with Marvel shall we?

It seems to me that Marvel believe a lack of follicle prowess is the key element in giving baddies that 'Hard Guy' edge. Without a shining dome of a skull they'd look as cute as pussy cats. Obadiah with long golden locks wouldn't get him far in Stark Industries.... unless Tony mistook him for a lovely lady. 

Exhibit un: KINGPIN

            • Hates Spiderman
            • Massively tall
            • Massively fat
            • Sumo
            • Bald
            • Evil

Exhibit deux: BULLSEYE

            • Hates Daredevil
            • Averagely tall
            • Not fat but pretty heavy (adamantium be some weighty shit)
            • Scarred head
            • Bald
            • Evil

But WAIT, new incoming epiphany....


There are GAZZILIONS OF THESE WEIRD, BALD, EVIL GITS. So many of these bad guys that I can't be bothered to prove this particular point any further. If you're that intrigued look it up yourself.

To all you pernickety pedants out there... YES I KNOW! Some characters use their baldness for a good cause (Prof X, Fury....Patriot.....). See? I'm trying to make a list of good bald guys here and I'm struggling. STRUGGLING. 

Anyway. But what my friend and I discovered, that fateful Twitter filled night, was 'Why Stop at Marvel?'

Voldermort #baldandevil

Pan's Labyrinth #baldandevil

Dr Evil #baldandevil


Sheldon J. Plankton #baldandevil

It's a fun game. Give it a try. 

Peace and Love. Over n Out.