So here's the thing. After a fairly in depth Twitter conversation with a friend we have come to a conclusion. The majority of film baddies are BALD and EVIL.
If you are bald you are almost definitely pre-programmed to be evil. (Which means the majority of my family are up shit creek without a paddle, I digress...)
Let's start with Marvel shall we?
It seems to me that Marvel believe a lack of follicle prowess is the key element in giving baddies that 'Hard Guy' edge. Without a shining dome of a skull they'd look as cute as pussy cats. Obadiah with long golden locks wouldn't get him far in Stark Industries.... unless Tony mistook him for a lovely lady.
- Hates Spiderman
- Massively tall
- Massively fat
Exhibit deux: BULLSEYE
- Hates Daredevil
- Averagely tall
- Not fat but pretty heavy (adamantium be some weighty shit)
- Scarred head
But WAIT, new incoming epiphany....
WHAT IF YOU'RE BALD, EVIL AND WEIRD LOOKING IN ANY WAY?
There are GAZZILIONS OF THESE WEIRD, BALD, EVIL GITS. So many of these bad guys that I can't be bothered to prove this particular point any further. If you're that intrigued look it up yourself.
To all you pernickety pedants out there... YES I KNOW! Some characters use their baldness for a good cause (Prof X, Fury....Patriot.....). See? I'm trying to make a list of good bald guys here and I'm struggling. STRUGGLING.
Anyway. But what my friend and I discovered, that fateful Twitter filled night, was 'Why Stop at Marvel?'
Pan's Labyrinth #baldandevil
Dr Evil #baldandevil
Sheldon J. Plankton #baldandevil
It's a fun game. Give it a try.
Peace and Love. Over n Out.